Soft Cell: just another way of saying “differentially permeable membrane.” Biology’s version of the club doorman. You get In. But You: Keep Out. No, really. Here’s slinky kinky Marc Almond as a young thing back in the day, fetishizing and valorizing monstrosity in the underground hit Sex Dwarf. David Ball on synthesizer. Together, they were Soft Cell, best known for their hit cover of Tainted Love/Where Did Our Love Go. Coming at you live, this gem was also covered by Nine Inch Nails, among others.
Originally published in 1981 as part of the album Non Stop Erotic Cabaret, the lyrics to this kink classic by Marc Almond and David Ball:
Sex Dwarf…Isn’t it nice
Sugar and spice
Luring disco dollies
To a life of vice
I could make a film
And make you my star
You’d be a natural
The way you are
I would like you on
A long black leash
I would parade you
Down the high street
You’ve got the attraction
You’ve got the pulling power
Walk my little doggy
Walk my little sex dwarf
(Here, doggy, doggy)
We could make a scene
We’d be a team
Making the headlines
Sounds like a dream
When we hit the floor
You just watch them move aside
We will take them
For a ride of rides
They all love your
Miniature ways
You know what they say
About small boys
Sex dwarf…
I’m in my Rolls Royce
Look it’s so huge
It’s big and it’s gold
With my dumb chauffeur
Looking to procure
Run little doggy
Lure a disco dolly
Run my little sex dwarf
I feel so lonely
Get my little camera
Take a pretty picture
Sex dwarf
In a gold Rolls
Making it with the dumb chauffeur
Sex dwarf…
We could make an outfit
For my little sex dwarf
To match the gold Rolls
And my dumb chauffeur
We’ll all look so good
We’ll knock ’em cold
Knocking ’em cold
In black and gold
We can have playtime
In my little playroom
Disco dollies
My sex dwarf
And my dumb chauffeur
I would like you on a long black lead
You can bring me all the things I need
Sex dwarf…
gayhighwaymen
Maštíŋčala Sáŋ
The Gay Highwaymen 